Illusory Life
by Aoi24
Summary: Challenge!fic. The encounter with the dementor has a strange effect on Harry. Unexplained memories awaken and his perception of the world is altered. He hears strange but familiar words. "Shatter Kyoka Suigetsu"
1. A Voice I Know Well

This is my attempt at Sharkteeths request.

Just to say sir, that I also cannot write for peanuts but I'm willing to give it a shot.

The idea is really imaginative and I would love to see a quality writer attempt it .

AU, no yaoi and the canon of JKR be damned!

* * *

Harry Potter decided that this life of his was more trouble than it was worth.

This was the third strike for the Wizarding World (fourth if you count how he got his scar, fifth if you count saddling him with Dursleys when they clearly didn't want him)

The summer had been about as good as he had expected although the end of it was surprisingly good (Harry made a mental note to see what would happen if he tried to turn Vernon into a walrus next year. He was pretty sure he could at least make him hairier and give him tusks).

Was it a Potter family trait of something? If so, then thanks but no thanks Dad, he'd rather be a Snape. He would have been perfectly happy to have gone to Stonewall and lived a perfectly ordinary and boring life. It would have been preferable to all of the drama that rampaged through his life. At this rate he was going to meet some kind of unimaginable fate and the hands (claws? talons? teeth?) of an inhuman and terrifying monster.

_-break-_

The train compartment was cold. It grew inexplicably darker and the air took on the sensation of a fetid fog. Harry felt like a stranger in his own body, his limbs bore a sense of cloying wrongness as if he was wearing the uncomfortable clothes of a stranger.

.._a false body…_

He couldn't even think of the others in the room. It was if they no longer shared the same existence. He heard voices, muffled as if through a wall, panicking before petering out

…_not strong enough to serve me…_

Something was approaching, an unnatural existence, it fed on suffering and bred anguish.

…_an interesting result…_

The shadows darkened and the voices grew louder before the space was filled with something enormous. Harry didn't trust anything he saw. It was all so wrong! Nothing was as he perceived, he felt as if was trying to grab the moon from a pond.

_-break-_

The cloak seemed to have a life of its own, reaching and probing for a prey

_... what can exist in a vacuum? A promising experiment…_

Hermione had mentioned something about the Dementors hadn't she? Is that what was approaching him?

The wall collapsed and the screams hit him full force. His mother, begging for his life

…_why did you beg? Why didn't you go out the window? Had you a brain in your head at all woman?..._

A hand reached towards him; pale, scabby and emaciated. A corpse was dragging him down. His chest constricted and he bizarrely felt as if he was buried alive.

…_something so unnecessary…_

Why wasn't anyone helping him? This, this creature was going to kill him and no one was doing anything! Where were they? Weren't they his friends?

…_The betrayal you can see is trivial. What is truly fearsome, is the betrayal that you don't see…_

His mothers dying screams echoed in his ears. They were mocking, cruel and Harry found himself caring less for the woman as they increased in intensity.

It couldn't be real but it was. The logic was insane but what he was seeing was so terrifying real that he couldn't deny it. Was it real because it felt so real that his body had accepted it as so?

_... I'm done with you…_

_-break-_

A new voice had joined the cacophony; unknown but achingly familiar. He was surprised at the pang the voice gave him. It was like a beloved instrument left to rot when it should have been picked up and played again.

The creature bore down upon him and a silvery light winked out of the corner of his eye

…_Shatter…_

The screams of the monster intermingled with those of Lily Potter and Harry felt the strange sensation of a roaring vacuum around himself

…_Kyoka Suigetsu…_

The limp form of Harry Potter hit the floor to the terrified screams of those around him.


	2. Subtly Different

A/N This seems to be my most popular story.

Well Yay (Thank you very much) and all that but I can't help but sulk seeing as my other babies don't get near the same love Hahaha.

This is the result of a torrid affair between me and the plotbunny of Sharkteeth. :D

This will be slow going so hang in there! I update as fast as I can so there's no good in annoying me to hurry up.

Con-crit, questions and appeals welcome. Anything at all, feel free to drop me a line. Beware though, if you ask a question it will more than likely be answered so no complaining if get spoilered.

No yaoi (gods no) and no guarantees. This is a WIP after all. :D

Thank you all very much for your support.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all its' properties belong to JK Rowling. I make no profit from this.

* * *

'The floor' Harry mused to himself 'is surprisingly comfortable'. Despite the small pain in his back he really was feeling quite at home there but he knew that he wouldn't be able to enjoy a short nap as the other occupants of the carriage would protest so he'd better get up.

_-break-_

Someone was slapping his face, none too gently too. His hand shot up and grabbed the offending limb and squeezed warningly on the wrist.

"Don't do that."

He was pleased to note that his voice was calm and confident.

Ron winced apologetically as Harry released his hand. The boy-who-lived made an impatient flapping gesture with his hand telling Ron and Hermione to back up a bit before he sat up rubbing the back of his head.

Hermione bristled "That's not very nice Harry. We were very worried you know."

Harry removed his hand from his head and stared at her in amazement. "I'm sorry Hermione but what have I done that you feel the need to rag on me? Was it because I stopped the slaps because they hurt y'know or was it because I waved you back because I couldn't get up with you in my way."

Hermione's mouth flapped soundlessly as she blushed furiously.

Harry sighed inwardly 'She means well but sometimes she doesn't seem to keep her brain hooked up to her mouth.'

He got up and returned to his seat sitting down heavily beside Ginny who blushed

'_God, give it a rest. Girls at this age are so annoying. Then there are those who never grow out of it. Remember the little naive Plum blossom?'_

Harry shook his head and sank back into the cushioned back of the carriage.

"Um, Harry" a particularly pale Neville ventured "Are you feeling alright?"

Harry glanced at the round faced boy and it felt like a transit train ran through his head before he could answer.

"I'm fine Nev," he smiled reassuringly "Just really, really tired and I've got a bit of a headache from hitting the floor."

Hermione took her seat with a somewhat abashed expression and Harry extended his reassuring expression to her.

'Everything's all right, no need to rock the boat. Don't ask me questions I'm unwilling to answer.'

Ron gave Harry a pensive look and opened his mouth to speak when the scruffy, tired looking man that they had earlier identified as 'Professor Lupin' re-entered the carriage.

'_Corrupted essence. Similar to hollowification. A disease? A wound? Either way he's earmarked to become a hollow. Look at him, drowning in his negative emotions. He won't be killed, he'll be euthanized. Shall we offer him the chance?'_

Harry wondered if he should be appalled at his seriously pissy subconscious and the almost casual disregard for life it seemed to be exhibiting today but he just couldn't muster up the energy to care. He folded his arms and shuffled to a more comfortable position with every intention of going to sleep and hexing everyone who tried to stop him. The scruffy looking man passed out pieces of chocolate pushing a particularly large piece in the hands of the 'boy-who-lived'. He glanced at the lump of chocolate and gave Lupin a somewhat disdainful look. The man seemed somewhat taken aback at his indolent expression which was an interesting reaction but Harry decided to file that away for later and with a long suffering sigh downed the chocolate before pointedly settling down to sleep.

_-break-_

Harry's eyes snapped open and stared at Ginny Weasley who was much to close for comfort.

"I'm already awake." He stated leaving the 'so stop invading my personal space' unsaid. She shuffled backwards blushing furiously. He sat up and yawned, scratching ruffling his hair into even more of a mess. He glanced at his watch and noted with annoyance that he had only been asleep for ten minutes

The others were picking themselves up and leaving. "Feeling better Harry?" Hermione asked a little nervously "You didn't have much time to nap."

He grunted and stood up rolling his shoulders trying to shake the feeling that he should be taller somehow. "Mmm, I'll go to bed early tonight. That'll sort me out."

She nodded looking relieved as they disembarked.

_-break—_

Harry didn't speak for the rest of the journey. He just looked incredibly tired and enforced this by dozing against the wall of the carriage. He stopped once to look at the front of the carriage before shaking his head and practically hurling himself into a seat

He drifted in and out of sleep until they reached the castle. As they stepped down, they were 'greeted' by Draco Malfoys' delighted drawl.

"You _fainted_, Potter? Is Longbottom telling the truth? You actually fainted?"

Ignoring Rons indignant splutters he positioned himself in front of Harry with a gleeful expression. The boy-whose-name-people-kept-on-insisting-to-hyphenate blinked sleepily for Malfoy for a moment before smirking. His face took on the condescending smile of an adult mocking a particularly stupid child.

"Fainted?" Harry purred "I wouldn't exactly call it that. I remember being trapped in a swirling mist hearing the echoes of people screaming in agony. Strange really, for the Dementors to have such a powerful effect on me, you'd think my parents were murdered in front of my eyes or something…."

Draco blanched, unused to such a reaction. The expression on the Gryffindors face was something new, cruel and positively Slytherin. He opened his mouth and Harry arched an eyebrow amusement dancing within his eyes. Thoroughly confused now, he eyed Harry speculatively and retreated into the castle with a whirl of robes; Crabbe and Goyle following in his wake.

Ron gaped and Hermione gasped but Harry paid them no need and casually strode into the castle. He never once looked back.

_-break-_

Ever since the Dementor had entered the compartment, (without so much as knocking. Really, being an otherworldly creature is absolutely no excuse for poor manners.) Harry James Potter had been feeling out of it. That is to say, he was feeling strange. Tired, for one thing and his subconscious seemed to be pretty vocal in its' casual disregard to human life. Harry knew that if he was feeling normal he would be freaking out about voices in his head worrying if Riddlewart had something to do with it and generally assuming that he had finally gone mad after all of the emotional abuse heaped upon him by the Dursleys. (And now he was seriously considering the walrus thing again.)

Harry just wasn't able to get angry or upset about it. He felt drained and groggy but otherwise pretty damn good. It was something like the feeling he had when he first held his wand. He had firmly decided that it would be best to just roll with it for now and have his episode after breakfast which is why when he saw the admittedly freakish looking horses attached to the carriages he promptly ignored them and hauled his skinny undernourished ass into the carriage.

Harry felt different. He just didn't know how. His exhaustion blotted everything else out. His thoughts were entirely focused upon getting something to eat before going to bed so Draco's interruption was most unwelcome.

He felt nothing. That's when he knew that something really had changed.

Draco Malfoy was amusing in a pathetic way. A small boy playing at alpha.

…_So far beneath us…merely an insignificant child…_

_-break-_

Madame Pomfrey clucked around him serving only to aggravate his rapidly darkening mood. Honestly, did the woman have to be so condescending? He was sitting right here and in possession of all his mental faculties. Did she really have to act as if he some sort of handicapped three year old?

'_She's convincing herself that she can patch everything up and then it'll be alright but we know better don't we? A body, once broken will never truly be whole again.'_

Harry took a deep breath and smiled disarmingly at the staff members.

"Professor, Madame Pomfrey. Really, I feel fine. Professor Lupin gave me some chocolate and the only side-effect of the whole experience seems to be that I'm perhaps a little more tired than usual. I really would like to get to dinner and catch up with my classmates before bed."

The two women started and Harry knew he wasn't imagining the misty, far-away look in their eyes.

'Christ,' he swore internally 'not this B.S. again. The way they carry on sometimes, you'd think they were expecting a clone of James Potter instead of his son. No wonder Snape hates me if this is the way they all think'

'_People see what they want to see and we can show them what we want them to see. They rarely look beyond what is right in front of them. You know this well, partner.'_

Minerva McGonagall shook her head and nodded.

"Well, off you go Potter. If you feel anything off then you're to head directly to the hospital wing. Miss Granger, a word please."

Harry nodded respectfully and swept out of the room and on towards the hall. The transfiguration professor paused minutely. Strange, for a moment there, he hadn't moved like a teenage boy but rather….a grown man?

_-break-_

'Anything off?' he spat 'Gee, I wonder what that could be? Could it be my home life or perhaps the horrendous behaviour Snape bestows upon us. Yeah, thanks there. Great Staff at this establishment.'

He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. All day he'd been feeling more irritable than usual and had about reached his limit for the day. He sighed and strolled on pretending not to hear the classless clatter that Hermione made as she chased after him.

'Really, Hermione.' He groused 'is there really any reason for you to run like a bull elephant? Take up jogging woman.'

He paused when she caught up with him panting heavily. He raised an eyebrow. She can't really be that unfit now, can she?

"Harry!" she gasped "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"You didn't ask me to."

She bristled "You're my friend. You should have done so anyway."

"I had no idea how long you would be. It would be foolhardy to risk missing dinner considering my collapse earlier on."

Her mouth flapped silently and she blushed.

'That's two for two Miss Granger. When are you going to start properly using that magnificent brain of yours?'

He gestured towards the great hall and they continued on in silence.

_-break-_

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Something was off. He just couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was but he had a feeling that someone on the wizarding world did something incredibly stupid….again.

_-break-_

The Gryffindor table was piled high with glorious cooking (as per usual, great kitchen staff.) Harry didn't pay any attention to any of the whispers, queries or glances in his direction.

'Does no one in this school possess any discretion?'

'_Obviously not. This turn of events proves them untrustworthy but conversely extremely malleable. Useful in its' own way.'_

They had delayed enough to miss the announcements regarding the Dementors but after getting up close and personal with one earlier on Harry felt he had a pretty good idea as to what they did. Ron dug in with his usual gusto (didn't he need to breathe?) but Harry held back and inspected the choices first. Everything seemed so heavy and unappetizing. He selected a few pieces of fish, vegetables and some baked potatoes, avoiding anything with butter. Ron looked at him as if he was mad but to fair he did that whenever Harry did or said something outside of what Ron expected. He wasn't the type that really dealt with change all too well now was he?

Harry ignored dessert and merely served himself a cup of tea. Ron peered over his trifle watching as Harry poured the beverage. It was exceedingly strange to notice but Ron couldn't help but see. Harrys movements, were extremely graceful.

_-break-_

As Dinner came to an end and the students began milling around, moving towards their dorms Hermione and Ron called Harry back.

His expression was somewhat and dopey once more, clearly looking forward to bed and in no mood for nonsense.

"What is it?" he yawned

"Harry," Ron huffed, somewhat exasperated "you missed the announcement but we told you during dinner remember? Hagrid is the new professor for Care of Magical Creatures."

"So?"

"Aren't you going to congratulate him?"

Harry blinked and scratched his head yawning at the same time "Yeah, I suppose we'd better."

He followed his two friends up towards the staff table to greet an overemotional Hagrid. The Groundskeeper, for all his faults, wasn't entirely stupid. He took one look at Harry and bustled them off to bed citing his familiarity with the effects of Dementors, not at all offended by such a lacklustre greeting from the-boy-who attracted-far-more-trouble-than-he'd-like.

_-break-_

Harry swept down the corridor a few strides ahead of Ron and Hermione who gave each other worried looks. They fell back a few steps and Harry didn't wait for them.

"I'm worried about Harry" Hermione whispered "He's been acting strange ever since the…y'know."

Ron studied the retreating back. "Don't." he muttered "It was horrible, we know that and it's only been a few hours. Give him a chance to recover before you jump to any conclusions. I've noticed a few odd things too but that doesn't really mean anything. Harry is Harry y'know. No matter what changes happen to him, he'll still be our Harry."

Hermione nodded "I'm just afraid that the Dementor hurt him somehow."

"It probably did." Ron snorted "But like I said, it's only been a few hours. Let him rest up and deal with what he can by himself first."

They rounded the corner and were surprised to see Harry examining one of the paintings in the hall leading up to the Fat Lady.

"I don't know the password." He admitted before turning to look at the picture once more. "I don't think that violet really suits you in this canvas m'dear. Unless you're trying to hide from unwanted guests in which case it'd be perfect. A brighter colour perhaps?"

The lady in the portrait tittered and simpered promising to show off some nicer coloured dresses later. Harry smiled and inclined his head in the barest of bows before looking over his shoulder.

"Are you coming or what?"

They jogged up the hall to catch up with the crowds. "What was that about mate?" Ron nudged him in the ribs

Harry shrugged. "The Lady in the portrait of the dressmakers asked my opinion. I gave it."

"I mean, the way you spoke to her. It was all…" Ron trailed off embarrassed.

Harry grinned "No need to be rude now is there?"

He clambered inside of the portrait hole and Ron shot a look to Hermione as if to say 'see, he's fine really.'

She nodded in response and followed them inside.

_-break-_

Harry waved goodnight and disappeared up the stairs. He quickly got ready for bed and spared his roommates no more than the basic courtesies. He called out a good night and drew the curtains around his bed ensuring to charm them silent and shut, just in case.

…_His hands were covered in blood…_

…_A silver haired boy following behind him…_

…_A man shouting in rage…he cuts him down…_

…_Mist swirling all around…_

…_Fire…blood…death…_

…_Everything was swirling around and no one but him could see…_

…_An infuriated teenager standing over him. Ah, he was dying wasn't he? But he kept smiling smugly. It didn't really matter did it? After all he had achieved what he desired even if they didn't truly realise it. The orange-haired teen was very angry. He couldn't understand why he hadn't stopped wearing that sinister smile._

_He could see others approaching, either to lock him up in stocks or to finish him off. Not that it mattered, he'd be dead in a moment. Everything had burned in glorious ashes. _

_His vision was growing hazy now. 'Ah. So that's what it's like.' He smiled broadly. This war was over and this life was done but he was far from complete. He felt a hand on his squeezing reassuredly. 'Yes, I know. You're here, like always. Isn't that right partner?'_

_Aizens breath ceased._

Harry Potter grasped his chest and sat up with a gasp.

* * *

A/N

Now there's no intention to character bash in this story (no matter how easy it would be)

Hermione is a great character but she does tend to be dreadfully overbearing and Ginny is only 12, she needs to do some growing up before her character can stand on her own two feet.

Aizen had to become an Englishman. They appreciate tea. Fact.


	3. A Blurring Of A Line

Once again; my most popular fic. Thank you all very much : ) (My other babies! *bawls*)

Please remember that this is a challenge fic and feel encouraged to try it yourselves.

One word reviews baffle me but please note that I reply to each and every comment I get even if it's just 'cool'. XD I certainly appreciate the sentiment; I'm just not sure how to reply. If you have questions then by all means feel free to ask, I will answer.

Also, I've had a lot of people fave this without putting me or the story on alert. It flips my switch to 'bemused' certainly. If you like it enough to fave, why won't you tag it for reading? Don't you want to read the rest?

Proof I'm paying attention at any rate.

I'm trying to avoid re-hashing too much from canon which we've all heard a million times before so I'll only be focusing on things that showcase the growth and change of Harry.

This will be slow. Slooooooow. Please don't ask for updates. It's not really motivational. You want more quicker, take it as a sign to give the challenge a bash.

Muchly deserved thanks and appreciation for everyone.

I'd also like to note that this site eats my formatting and that one day I shall have glorious, glorious revenge.

Cue standard disclaimer and away we go

* * *

Contrary to popular belief Ronald Weasley was not unintelligent by any means. Had he been raised muggle he would have, in all likelihood, competed professionally in chess, been scouted by a rather exclusive and prestigious school in Germany and gone on to become a grandmaster before eventually founding an internationally acclaimed school that catered specifically for young competitors in alternate fields. He would have lived a very happy and peaceful life but that is all entirely irrelevant as this is not that alternate universe.

He was however, in this universe much like every other, the youngest in a long line of outgoing and successful brothers and the son of a loving but extremely overbearing mother. He had been the butt of his brothers' jokes for as long as he could remember and had long served as audience to the triumphs of those who went first and dreaded the day he would have to compete with them.

Ron was, much more than Harry, an ordinary boy.

He had a somewhat cordial relationship with his brothers, played well enough with his sister until it became embarrassing to do so.

He wanted to do well but was stricken with a sense of inadequacy that was a contributory factor in his slacking at his studies. A sense of 'I'll never be good enough so why bother.'

Hermione frequently sniffed at his eating habits, his utter cluelessness when it came to matters of romance and his total lack of tact. But Hermione, while brilliant in many ways did seem to forget that Ron was an ordinary teenage boy. These were things that you could reasonably expect from a boy his age. In fact, if she would only lift her head and look down the dinner table she could see dozens doing exactly the same thing.

She rarely paid attention to those outside her immediate social circle and so bypassed these obvious traits. The other Weasley boys inhaled impressive amounts of food as well. Oliver Wood perceived very little outside of Quidditch to the point of insulting every single person around him. Neville, Dean and Seamus would stare blankly at any conversation regarding romantic things before quickly extricating themselves from the situation wondering why the hell they couldn't talk about something else instead.

Ron wasn't as bad as some of his closest associates may believe mostly because they had the rather unfortunate habit of being an 'insular group.'

But if we went into that right now we'd never get anywhere today so let's move on…

_-break-_

Ronald Bilius Weasley wasn't stupid.

Harry was his best mate and there was something off with him.

He had never seen Harry so subdued, so…..sleepy? No. That was the wrong word. Harry seemed 'disconnected' somehow and it was frightening in a way.

When the Dementor entered the compartment Ron had been terrified. Even though he knew better from his father he was almost convinced that those…monsters were going to eat them. Stupid really but he couldn't shake the feeling that if they could, they'd administer the kiss to each and every person on the express.

Then Harry had sort of 'spasmed' and dropped to the floor.

For a terrible fearful moment he thought his friend was dead.

Funnily enough, his first thought had been along the lines of regret that he hadn't ever apologised for asking to see the scar back in their first year. That had been rude and now he'd privately admit it was also sort of mean.

It was a different sort of fear. One he did not care to experience again.

Harry had been sluggish and cranky for the rest of the day. (Not that anyone would blame him.) He had been irritable but Ron had to give him credit, Harry did his damnedest to be polite to everyone regardless. The thought the youngest son had, the one that had sprouted unexpectedly and taken root like a particularly unwelcome and virulent weed.

Harry had changed.

He wasn't sure how and it was a bit early to skydive to any conclusions. (The whole Malfoy thing from last year still stung. The blond ponce was still an utter dick though, no mistake there.) But if Ron had to put his finger on the thought that had struck him, like Errol arriving home from a long flight, it would be that his friend seemed to have grown up. It sounded ridiculous of course but when he thought of the other teenager inhaling the fumes of his cup of tea the image and movements spoke of a confidence and assuredness of a grown man. For a moment, he seemed almost more like Bill than Harry.

Ron decided that it was not worth worrying about for the moment.

Harry was his friend and he would always have his back, no matter what.

The red head shivered as he felt a chill run down his spine.

Why did he feel something off? He shrugged and settled for cursing out the dementors.

_-break-_

Harry Potter was now quite convinced that he was going mad.

For an individual so certainly convinced of this as fact he was also remarkably calm.

Huh, weird.

He also wasn't rushing off to tell Hermione or Ron which would have been his normal default action. Massaging his temples in an attempt to stave off a headache he decided that while he loved them dearly it was definitely the path to an intense migraine of the mountain of unnecessary paperwork that was backlogged and he would have to do anyway variety. Harry paused and blinked wondering where got the analogy from and amended it to one involving Hermione, the library and the exits being barred from the outside. Yes, that was much more appropriate. He nodded satisfied and decided that it was past time he got himself up.

_-break-_

The most remarkable thing to happen that morning was that Harry completely ignored the antics of those around him. When Malfoy continued on with his non-too-subtle (and he calls himself a slytherin) re-enactment of yesterday complete with ridiculous effeminate swooning fit Harry didn't even blink. He continued on to the table and took a seat, immediately reaching for the tea and toast.

"Ignore them." Hermione sniffed "They're not worth it."

Harry blinked up at her in utter comprehension and swallowed a mouthful of toast and bacon. "Ignore who?"

"The Slytherins!"

"Ah." he swallowed another mouthful "Why, what'd they do?"

Hermione paused and tilted her head. "Nevermind then. It's clearly not actually important."

Harry nodded and turned his attention back to his breakfast, not noticing the measuring look Hermione gave him. She soon turned to their new timetables and the incident was soon forgotten.

She began bickering good-naturedly with Ron over her timetable before Harry interrupted with a tired air of someone who'd long grown fed up of pointing out the obvious.

"It's magic obviously. Hermione has some sort of magical method to get to all of her classes."

Ron gaped and Hermione blanched.

"What is it then?" the youngest Weasley urged "C'mon, 'Mione. You can tell us."

Harry set his tea cup down with a loud clack.

"Ron." He began warningly "If it was any of our business, she would have told us already so just let it drop. We have class now, so let's get going."

_-break-_

When they passed the Slytherin table Malfoy initiated another fainting fit causing Ron to snarl but Harry didn't react.

"Why did you let him away with that?"

Harry glanced at his friend, genuinely puzzled. "What are you talking about Ron?"

"That git Malfoy!"

They continued down the corridor and Harry frowned contemplatively.

"Oh, well. He wants attention but it's really not worth my attention. He's utterly irrelevant and beneath my notice so don't get yourself all worked up about it."

Hermione and Ron exchanged a look behind his back. One that was part disbelieving and part confused.

Hermione coughed delicately. "Could you elaborate a bit Harry?"

Harry hummed distractedly for a moment before answering. "Oh, well I suppose I should. Malfoy is…..like a scrappy little dog."

Ron snorted.

"He's not powerful, influential or skilled enough to be worthy of much attention but what he wants, more than anything, is for his worth to be acknowledged. So he tries to get you to do that in the only way he knows how."

Hermione smiled. "By barking as loud as he can and trying to scare off competitors for 'alpha'."

Harry rewarded her with a brilliant grin. "Precisely and due to our age, year and houses we are prime targets for this. Unfortunately , I am far too tired to pay him any attention at all so until he improves in some significant manner he is officially beyond my scope of interest."

…Unlike that boy, he is of no particular use to us right now. Ignoring him will not discourage him but it saves effort on our part…

_-break-_

As they waited in the landing below the trap door Harry squinted unhappily up at the plaque above him.

"Remind me again, why I agreed to take this class?"

Ron shrugged "Easy O?"

The red head carefully observed the look on his friends face darken momentarily before quickly rearrange itself into a more polite expression.

_-break-_

It quickly became apparent that while Harry shared a great many of Hermione's views on the subject he was a great deal more diplomatic than his scholarly friend. It seemed perfectly obvious to Harry that the only way she should approach divination should either be through fiction or a healthy appreciation for ancient myths. Her mind was scholarly but of the scientific sort. She would be much more suited for experimenting with new and useful magic's or rediscovering forgotten powers. (If only she would do something about that irritating crusader-like fervour she had for 'causes')

Harry blinked and shook his head wondering where the thought had come from.

…Are you incorrect? Her promise is wasted here, as is yours. The best method of diving probability is already open to us…

'I suppose you're right.' He mused 'I can't imagine sitting here for another couple of years.'

He turned his attention back to Professor Trelawney who was soliloquising upon his most horrid fate. Hermione was bristling and dropping very scathing and logical remarks. (Harry was both appreciative and impressed by this.)

Trelawney screamed and dropped into a chair startling Harry (he had begun to drift again.) before, with much theatre, announcing that he had 'The Grim' and proceeding to terrorise the others in the class.

_-break-_

Harry snorted and burst out laughing. Whatever the other occupants of the room expected, this wasn't it. The boy-who-lived appeared to be transforming into the boy-who-lived-to-go-mad. His hearty guffaws finally died down and he snorted before composing himself and getting to his feet.

"I apologise Professor. I'm afraid that I cannot accept your prediction, as well intentioned as it clearly was. I'm the sort of person who believes that the only future that exists is the one you carve out for yourself."

The entire class was focused on him and there it was, once more. Harry stood tall and perfectly composed. His expression serious and polite but compelling none the less. It was the speech of a leader; powerful but not forceful. He took her hand and bowed over it in a perfect imitation of traditional wizarding manners.

"I do however, appreciate that you are kind enough to attempt to warn me but I fear it is to little good. I have neither an inclination towards a powerful inner eye nor the life that permits me to evade danger. I have long ago decided to accept whatever fate throws at me and to deal with it as I am best able."

Trelawney looked as if she had never been so flattered (which was probably true.) Harry turned to Hermione and beckoned her from her position behind Trelawney where she had tried to re-examine the teacup.

"I'm afraid that neither Hermione nor I should continue to be here." He gracefully held up a hand as people began to protest (Hermione and Trelawney.) "Someone with my unfortunate past is clearly not meant to meddle in such matters and my life view is such that my presence would be detrimental to your stellar efforts. Hermione also shares the same life view as myself and I regret to say that I have unintentionally influenced her over the course of our friendship and thus closing the mysteries of the inner eye to her scientific mind. It is sad but in such cases it is best to support those with actual talent in the field and gracefully step aside now instead of later."

Trelawney was getting teary eyed now and Harry quickly chivvied a dumbfounded Hermione and her belongings to the trapdoor before smiling and bowing farewell in a genteel manner.

_-break—_

He shut the trap door and slid to the bottom of the ladder to be faced with the thunderous expression of one Hermione Jane Granger.

…If we could only put all of that wonderful enthusiasm to better use…

"Hermione, don't you dare tell me that you want to spend all of that time and effort studying in order to write horoscopes for the Daily Prophet?"

She bit her lip and he seized an opportunity, surging forward to cut off her arguments before she could begin.

"You've read the books, you know what nonsense it is. We already study Astronomy and aren't you taking up Ancient Runes? You know Muggles use them in fortune telling."

Hermione relented and gave him an amused look.

"I suppose you're right. But I still don't like the idea of…"

"Hermione. There is no civilised country in the world that would consider that to be an actual academic discipline. I think you should be more concerned that I was more polite to a member of staff than you were."

She shot him an utterly aghast expression and he burst out laughing.

"You've read the coursebooks. What would you recommend me to take instead?"

* * *

A/N: This is just as long as the last chapter. Hmmm.

Harry isn't going to be whipping out a sword and going batshit at any stage. He's just begun his journey and he's still not really recovered from the Hollow, no wait I mean the Dementor! :D

The things he's doing….he hasn't even realised yet. If he had said something about it he'd be caught out but if that bothers you please pause and think what a Zanpaktou is and there you'll have your answer.


	4. Growing Into Yourself

A/N: I have a feeling I'm going to get a message telling me that I've gotten this and that wrong or something shouldn't happen because Murphy's Law says there should be one of those annoying messages. (and it does happen) Well, no. I already know it's different so let's not go there.

I think I'll stick with these short chapters; they're much easier to handle. Especially when I'm writing behemoths for my other fics. XD

Thanks for all of the support, faves and reviews. Much appreciated everyone.

Let this be a reminder that the pace will be excruciatingly slow.

* * *

Harry Potter lived under the cupboard. He spent the majority of his childhood trapped in that dark and stuffy little enclave and when he looked back on those times he was filled with burning resentment. At least, that's the way he normally felt.

Since his 'encounter' with the dementor the day before he had been left feeling…_different_. He wasn't quite sure how to explain it but it was a bit like he had been living in a darkened room with only one open window and the dementor had swept in like some sort of deranged cloth duster, removed the heavy drapes, pulled the blinds, cleaned the windows before departing leaving him in the middle of light and open skies.

As bizarre as that relentlessly convoluted simile was it was the best way he could think to describe it. Now that 'the windows were open' so to say, he could see everything that was going on.

And it seemed like the neighbours had some unnerving habits and what's more they've clearly seen 'Rear Window' a few too many times.

_-break-_

Harry wasn't insane but he definitely had a voice in the back of his head nattering on and on…that didn't really sound convincing did it?

At first he'd assumed it was just another aspect of puberty and his conscience was getting snarky but at this stage, now that his head had cleared, he had to admit that it was more like a voice whispering in his ear.

If Harry had to compare it to something it was a bit like having a sarky friend who provided you with a running commentary of surrounding events and he had to admit that if this voice was a friend it was definitely a _trusted_ friend.

He leafed through the Runes textbook Hermione loaned him while they waited for transfiguration class to begin. After mulling over it for a while he decided not to mention it to his friends. For one thing they'd overreact, Ron would bluster, Hermione would rush off to research it and then they'd insist on telling Dumbledore who was _not_ his favourite person at this moment in time.

Harry paused and adjusted his glasses before smiling to himself. Actually right now the dementor was more of an ally than a man who considered soul-sucking monsters an appropriate guard for a school full of children.

He blinked before realising that Hermione was still talking. She was babbling away, gesticulating and goddamit he hadn't heard a word she said. 'SHIT!' he thought 'What do I do now? A fight with 'Mione is the last thing I need right now.'

'_Do what comes naturally then. Bluff.'_

_-break—_

Minerva McGonagall had taught at Hogwarts for a great many years to the point that very little that the students did truly surprise her. However Harry Potter had managed to do just that. He had managed to extricate himself from Divination without causing any sort of offence and when she'd talked to _Professor _Trelawney the woman had nothing but good things to say about Potter and he'd only been in her class for all of twenty minutes.

It seemed that the summer had been good for Mister Potter in some unexpected ways. Whatever sort of holiday he'd had he had returned much more thoughtful and diplomatic. Boys his age were usually thoughtless and selfish giving little heed to others but Harry had proved to have the capability for dealing with delicate situations.

She nodded approvingly to herself. Yes, that boy was a lot like his parents. Clearly his diligence and responsibility from his mother was beginning to emerge and combined with the charisma of his father he was a perfect candidate for prefect in a couple of years.

_-break—_

Snape ignored the class for the most part. He had a grievous headache and the castle was infected with terminal case of dementors and lycanthropes. It was as if fate had decided to see what it could to render the castle unliveable. He scowled and swept through the classroom.

Granger had teamed up with Longbottom for once. Snape sneered. They should have figured out to do that on their first class. That Granger girl irritated the hell out of him. It wasn't her intelligence (he appreciated that) or her background (he grew up knowledgeable about magic but he had lived a practically muggle lifestyle for his childhood) or even the fact that her textbook knowledge would always outstrip her skill in potions (she thought she was better than she actually was and that was a dangerous, frequently fatal, mindset to have.)

It was her constant kissing up to authority figures that gnawed at him, her over anxiousness to prove herself channelling energies in the wrong direction. Snape had seen how Gryffindor had treated her until Potter had reached out to her. Anyone would pin her for a Ravenclaw with her mind. Hufflepuff would have protected her well and Slytherin would have given her an education that made her truly dangerous. Unfortunately she was in Gryffindor where she was encouraged to plough ahead, possess an obnoxiously irritating attitude towards authority figures and never thought twice. It was wasted potential and the only thing Snape hated more than bullies, suck-ups and James Potter was wasting potential. 'After all,' he mused internally 'knowledge is loud, wisdom is silent.'

He sneered into their cauldron and moved on. Snape continued his pantomime all the time internally thinking about letters he had to answer, his weekend plans and pretty much anything to take his mind off his aching headache. He passed Potter again and curled his lip while his mind ran to what he could have for dinner. He hated teaching, he really did. If he could have a choice he would spend his life in commissions and research. That was what he wanted to do with his life not this! But Albus had him by the nuts (so to speak) and either he continued to obey the man or he went to Azkaban and right now Hogwarts greatly resembled that fallen citadel.

'Still, what Albus Dumbledore wanted, he usually got.' Snape groused internally. He personally _loathed_ this particular duty. It went against everything he believed. He'd sooner kill himself than let anyone rummage around in his head but he was expected to perform this duty on the students whenever it was requested. (not that Dumbledore didn't do it himself.) Snape had his duties for the day. 'Check on Harry Potter.' So he did.

The last thing he remembered before the backlash had him hit the floor was a pseudo-memory of a great oppressive power bearing down on him. There was a hint of a smile on the shaded face and Severus Tobias Snape discovered that there things in the world even more terrifying than he could have ever believed.

_-break—_

Dumbledore frowned down from his position on the staff table.

The year had not exactly got off to a good start. First Harry had been attacked by a dementor (although he was curious to see if that had any effect on the soul fragment embedded in his scar. He resolved to have a probe the next opportunity he had.), then Severus had collapsed in the middle of his third year potions class. The headmaster frowned and peered over his steepled fingers. There was, of course, the issue of Harry switching classes like that. It was strange and, dare he say it, very uncharacteristic. The way he had charmed Sybil had been almost like…no, no. He shook his head. He couldn't jump to any conclusions.

He glanced over to the Gryffindor table where the boy who lived was sharing a pot of tea with Miss Granger. How strange…but hardly anything to worry about. Dumbledore resolved to keep a closer eye on Harry Potter and reminded himself to push the boy towards Remus. It would definitely prove beneficial in the long term.

_-break—_

Hermione savoured the warmth of the tea as it slide down her throat. It left delicious warmth down her body and she sighed appreciatively. It had been a strange and stressful day. First, there had been that mess with divination and then Professor Snape had _looked_ at Harry before having some sort of fit and collapsing. Rumours were that he was in a coma and Madame Pomfrey had called in the specialists at Saint Mungos.

What worried Hermione had been Harry's reaction. He had been…impassive for want of a better word. He had blinked in surprise at Snape before calmly proceeding to summon help. Draco Malfoy had gone immediately to Snapes side but he had given Harry a calculating look as if Harry had become something new, different and more importantly _unknown_.

Harry had changed, that much was certain. Hermione wondered if she needed to be worried but then she had to admit that people _do _change and if Harry did so she really had no right to say anything only support her friend in whatever direction he took. (as long as it wasn't anything illegal or dangerous)

He had been right about divination though. What had she been thinking taking up such a woolly discipline? Harry had also voiced certain disapproving thoughts regarding her taking of muggle studies and when she argued claiming that it would be fascinating to hear about it from the point of view of wizards he had snorted and given her an utterly derisive expression.

"You want to waste your education discovering how moronically misinformed the wizarding world is about the politics, lifestyle and social structure of mundane humanity then do it." He had sneered "but don't insult my intelligence by trying to convince me it is a worthy use of the time you need to dedicate to your 'real' studies."

She had been shocked and unable to respond. Harry had not retracted his words but he had offered her a cup of tea. Hermione had accepted the peace offering for what it was but it went unsaid that he took back nothing.

Hermione peered over the table to Harry. He looked so tired and stressed. She could see why he said he was taking an early night. If anyone at Hogwarts was due a collapse it was Snape but he was followed on that list by filch and Harry respectively. It made sense; no one else was half as stressed.

_-break—_

Harry went to bed early that night. His roommates sat up and speculated about their upcoming DaDa lessons wondering if the new professor was any good.

He slept like the dead.

_The room seemed wider somehow but since he didn't remember visiting it before he was unsure as to how he knew that._

_The walls had grown partially transparent and resembled twirling fogs as they flickered. The windows held strong, shutters thrown up and fresh air twirling in but they seemed bigger somehow._

_He slumped in the winged armchair and looked out, though the walls, through the windows. Harry caught glimpses of marshland and open fields twisting underneath a magnificent open sky with clouds far on the horizon._

"_Can I…am I allowed to go there?" he whispered_

"_Not yet." The voice replied "It's opened up this much already. But you're not ready yet partner. You have made it here already though and that is far more than most ever accomplish."_

_Harry turned his head to peer out of the corner of his eye at the figure on the couch. "Did you do something to Snape?"_

"_Deliberately? No but you can't stick your head into a furnace and complain of third degree burns."_

"_That jackass."_

"_Is he?" the figure regarded him impassively "Is that deeply torn soul your enemy or his he merely an object in your path…out path?"_

_Harry paused "I…just don't know anymore."_

"_Good answer."_

"_What are you?"_

_The figure laughed. "Don't you know?"_

* * *

A/N: No, there is no Hermione bashing here, merely foundations for some later growth. Ha-ha.


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